Sunday, August 2, 2009

More to love

I missed the original airing so I watched it on hulu later therefore I'm a little late jumping on the more to love bandwagon. So in case you haven't heard more to love is Fox's new reality dating show where all the females are plus size women, hence the more to love title.

I mus admit first off these bachelor type house full of crazy women chasing after one guy who just wants to jam his tongue down everyone's throat reality dating shows are usually not my thing but here goes.

Ok so first thing I notice is this guy Luke Conley is not that impressive to me. Ok he's got a decent job but big whoop there are plenty of men who have good jobs what makes him so special? Second thing I notice is he's chubby wtf?! Please don't get me wrong I have nothing against heavier guys I've even dated one or two I just don't get why they couldn't get a thin guy. Seems like they're trying to say fatties can only date and be attracted to other fatties. I know that's not right, most of the men I've dated including my fiancée are thin. What I want to know is why the hell I need to see him eating and saying he loves food. He's heavy I get it Americans think that everyone who's fat eats a lot but I don't think Fox is doing the plus community any good by playing up that stereotype. Ok so now that we've met the dude let's meet the ladies.

Ok seriously these introductions are taking too long. Why do they need to start off with 20 chicks? Must say I do like some of these dresses though. Ok Christina needs to do a little growing up and realize that guys don't pay attention to her when she's out with her thinner friends because of he self esteem issues not her size. Did Heather really just say she's never been in a relationship because of her weight?! Honey the only thing keeping you from a relationship is YOU, weight has nothing to do with it. Heather's got a hot dress on just wish she had the confidence to go with it. Now Amanda is saying she didn't even have a prom date because of her size, I'm sensing a trend here. Just a second, why are all these chicks crying?

Did Anna just say someone who could love me for who I am? She's gorgeous what the hell is she talking about? Why is everyone acting like he's the only man on the face of this planet who likes curvy girls? Natasha said looks are shouldn't be the most important thing, I've got news for you miss plus women are hot and there are plenty, let me repeat plenty of men who love women with curvy bodies. The thought that most men prefer thin women is a myth. I've been on plenty of dates and know of plenty of men who love curvy chicks, my size has never stopped me from being in a romantic relationship. It's not about size it's about confidence without it even the thinnest girl would be overlooked. Confidence is the answer to the question "what she's got that I don't" we all have those days when we feel we look like crap but having the confidence in yourself and the fact that men are attracted to you is the key you need to get the attention you crave.

So I think I've seen enough of these introductions to realize these women were picked not because of their size but because of their insecurities about their size. This is really very frustrating for me being a plus woman who is confident and who knows that I'm sexy and that there are plenty of men who prefer my body type to others. It frustrates me because I haven't always been this comfortable with my size especially when I was a teen. It's hard for me knowing that there are young girls who are plus size who are going to watch this show and think that this accurately portrays the plus size community and how men view them.

I commend Fox for actually having this show and I will continue to watch to support them even having plus women on tv but I think they could have done a much better job. It's disappointing to me that instead of portraying plus size women and the men who love them the way it really is they decided to go for drama and exploit the insecurities of these few women who don't know any better. These women shouldn't be trying to be in a relationship based on their baggage alone. I'll watch again next Tuesday but Fox will be receiving a letter from me.


  1. I had pretty much the same reaction to the show. ALl the women seem to have very low self-esteem. It would have been a lot better to get CONFIDENT plus size women to show that not all curvy people hate themselves. I have always been overweight and men have always loved me because of my confidence

    - @professormichel

  2. I totally agree with the post. I have dated men who are skinner than me and they love me because I loved myself. My vice was the putting their weight up in the confessional! Are they serious!! These women didn't need to go on this show, they clearly need a therapist with all these problems!!

  3. I agree Michel I really didn't like the all fat women have self esteem issues view.

  4. Oh I totally forgot about the posting of the weight that was so ridiculous. As if these women don't have enough self esteem issues.

  5. Well, I haven't even given the show a look. I think it made the bottom of my priority list with the name: More to Love. But from what I'm hearing about the show...perhaps they should have named it: Pitty Party!

  6. Pity party or fat girls get no love

  7. I think that I might be the only fat girl that actually feels the same as the girls on the show...I am not sure if its the size of the cities that we live in...but I can tell you that I am very confident, and I have been my entire life. I have not been on many dates. Went to a movie once (10 years ago)and some guy brought me coffee once (this year). I met a guy online and we dated for a few months, but we were 14 hours apart. So when we met there was really no "dating". And I went to my prom....with a good friends boyfriend because she wasn't allowed to take him, so I took him. So I really do believe what these girls are saying. I was able to relate to that.

  8. Asteadygo trust me you are not the only one who has at one time felt the same way the women on the show feel. I've been there done that even when I felt confident. I had a boyfriend a few years back who liked me but felt that I needed to lose weight. He was embarrassed to bring me around his family and friends and everything. I thought he was the one for me but he made me feel self concious about my size all the time. We eventually broke up and I later realized it didn't work because of his insecurity about being with a big woman not because I am woman.I also realized there were plenty of men who thought I was beautiful just the ways I was. I always say for every guy who wants me to lose weight there are ten more behind him who want me just the way I am. My point is not everyone is going to think you're great no matter what size you are but there are men who are like that and I don't want you to give up hope because a tv show re-enforces what everyone wants us to believe. If I would have settled for a guy who wanted me to be thinner I would've never met my fiancée and let me tell you he has been nothing short of a blessing. Keep at it there's someone out there for you and if one or two or even three guys can't get passed your size I say forget them. A guy who is not secure enough in himself to be with a big woman is not man enough to be with me.

  9. I can't even believe you. Well, wait, I can cause I know lots of chicks just like you. I wonder if you'll even have the balls to keep this comment after I'm done so people can see what guys like me think about your little comments. So, you want acceptance for plus size, oh we'll say heavier chicks, but you won't give it for the heavier guys? I know tons of heavy chicks like you and your all the same. You want guys, lets say, thin guys to accept you but you give the 'ewww gross' for the heavy guy who, stereotypically have better inside than the 'hot' guy.

    First, I like plus girls, ive dated lots of them and I like a girl with 'meat on her bones' as they say. but I hate the plus girls in your camp, the fat chick that would never dare date a fat boy.

    I was heavy, I lost 140lbs and when I was heavy (like the guy on tv) I saw all the heavy girls, like you with their comments and their rejections not even attempting at looking past the skin. Now that I've lost all that weight the single most gratifying thing I have now is when a plus chick, like you steps up to me, I get to turn you down, turn you out and pay you back with interest.

    What ever ridicule or hurtful comments you and the girls like you get buy the plethora of guys out there who look at you and go 'ewww gross' you deserve because your so ugly and shallow on the inside.

    I know 100s of 'skinny chicks' that have 10 times the heart you and girls like you do. For you, its all about the girls and 'their issues' but fuck the men. Well plus size men all over the world would like to give you a big fuck you, through me.

    You can go about your hateful little way now -- @hankito

  10. Wow, Hankito! You sound like a real jackass! Did you even read the post? Clearly not, because she did say, and I quote, "Please don't get me wrong I have nothing against heavier guys. I've even dated one or two. I just don't get why they couldn't get a thin guy. Seems like they're trying to say fatties can only date and be attracted to other fatties." I love big guys, but for this show that is being watched by millions of people with their own myths about big people, I would have liked for them to see that big women are not just attractive to big guys. It's almost a given. Since Fox is "breaking down barriers" (yeah ok), why not let a skinny guy digging big women be one of them?

    I don't even know why you're tripping! She wasn't disrespecting big guys or being hateful in any way at all. You need to grow up and learn to read!

    Ms. Pillowz

  11. Well Ms. Pillowz, 1. I can be a jackass and its a free country. 2. I'll tell you both this, why does it have to be a thin guy, why not just a better guy? I mean, are you friggin kidding me that it HAS to be a thin guy? Granted the dude is, from what I can tell not all that, and they probably could have done better but, just like Ari, you have the same bias, thin guys are in, not a better guy, not a good guy, a thin guy. Granted I'm sure you all want it to be a thin guy to make a point and I know that fox could do a million things better with this show like.

    If we're going that route, why all fatties as you put it. why not a mix of 'just girls' oh right...that whole ratings thing.

    I did read and Im not even going to trip over you telling me I need to learn to read because I have, not only that it was 2 women who pointed this out to me and were more pissed off about it than I was so maybe you need to look back on yourself and consider others points of view before you go telling someone because you dont agree their wrong. She 'dated one or two' big deal Thats like the hot skinny chick that dated this regular nerdy guy and then married the hot one. Oh wait they had a show like that on fox before.

    Lets continue with your line of thinking. So...for you lets see, millions of people watching a show and you want to dispell the myth about heavy chicks. Oh I got it! get some thin guys in there, cause god knows the dude will do em and then be like 'who are you?" later. That's what you want to disspell right? Great so with that the point is made that heavy girls are good. if I remember correctly the fat ugly dudes they had on a show way before that were awesome guys inside going for the hot chick lost out to the hunk, but we wont talk about that lesson learned.

    So lets re-cap for the girls here. It would have been fine if she said ' a better guy' (god knows they coulda done better) not a thin guy or a fat guy, just a good guy, no an awesome man. Your focus that it MUST BE a thin guy SUCKS! I was disrespected others who brought this to my attention, funny that it was woman, were disrespected, I was the one that spoke up.

  12. Hankito let's go over this again because you clearly aren't getting the point. Somewhere along the lines of reading my post you let your former fat guy emotions get in the way of your reading comprehension. The only reason I even mentioned that Luke is fat just like the girls was to show that Fox is obviously trying to play up stereotypes not break down the walls of size discrimination by making it seem that only fat men like fat women. I don't want to see the dude eating saying he loves food because that plays into yet another stereotype about fat people. Did I ever say they HAD to get a thin guy? Hell no I was just pointing out that there are in fact thin men who like big women and vice versa. I'll agree with you that women can be superficial about being with a big guy even when they are big themselves but you know what that's just another thing that's messed up in this world that we have to deal with. The reason I said I've dated one or two fat guys is because that is a fact I have dated about two one of whom is father of my daughter. Did I ever ignore any guy that was nice or a good guy just because of his size? No never. I've only dated a few big men but truth is I prefer them to thinner men. I ended up with a thin guy (who used to be fat btw) because of who he is. I have been with too many jerks to let a good guy pass me buy just because he's not exactly what I'm looking for physically. You don't know me I don't know you and it's hard to come in here acting like you know who someone is from a little tid bit you took out of context from their blog on the internet. If your female friend had a problem with what I said she could have very easily voiced her opinion and hopefully she would have done it in a much classier manner than you did. I think there should be size acceptance for all fat and skinny male and female my post was focused on the women since I'm a plus size woman and I know what that's like I have never been a plus size man so why would I focus my blog on that?

    Like you said it's a free country I'm allowed to have my views just as you are however no matter how you felt about my post you're post was at best uncalled for. I didn't disrespect anyone so I won't apologize. Just because one or two people had your same opinion does not in fact make you right.

    Lastly why would I delete your original post? You just showed everyone here who you really are Mr. "good guy" who runs around picking fights on the internet because he has baggage from when he was fat and rejected.

  13. Just three things. 1. thats awfully nice of you to declare that you didnt' disrespect someone, when the feeling of disrespect comes from how the other person feels. 2. I had no intention of portraying myself as 'Mr. Good Guy'. If I had actually cared, things might have been said differently. 3. My point was lost on you as much as yours was lost on mine.

  14. Hankito I got your point, I even agree with you on some points. There are plus size women who want acceptance from everyone yet they themselves discriminate against plus size men just because their big. Being a plus woman hasn't been easy I've been plus all my life however I know plus men have it hard if not harder than plus women do. And yes I agree what's on the inside of a person is most important. We all have our douchebag moments but I always try not to judge people based on their looks alone 'cause I know it's happened to me many times.

    The part I disagree with you on is when you claimed that I myself am anti-fatguy. I don't think you know me well enough to make such a character call and it's kinda hard to even listen to you when you come in here spewing the way you did.

    My comment was not meant to disrespect and or offend anyone fat guy or not. I just hope you don't react like this every time your offended by something someone posts online.

  15. "picked for their insecurities"

    you hit the nail on the head..

    i also think that one of the requirements had to be to be dramatic

    because granted i dont normally watch reality ty but i have never seen as much whining and insecurity in one group.

    honestly i was embarassed for some of them..

    i was put off by the near desperation that some of them exhibited

  16. Hey i get what your saying about fox not doing the plus size community any good why dont they just mix up the crowd andcall it something else im a large man and i like all sorts o women and yes i have overlooked women who are thin to see a larger woman and vice versa it doesnt matter beauty is in the eye of the beholder the biggest problem is with "shallow" people who may date you but listen to what others may say and i have no sympathy for someone who would break my heart because of what others think. your blog is great 5 stars